What Does EMDR Therapy Feel Like? A Nervous System Informed Explanation
If you’re considering EMDR, I am sure one of the first questions on your mind is what does it actually feel like?
The honest answer is: EMDR doesn’t feel one specific way. It can feel attuned, intentional, deeply grounding and at times intense. During EMDR, you are being asked to move through a session and notice what happens inside your body and mind as you reflect on various experiences or thought patterns. For many people, this experience can feel different each time. Some of my clients share that each session feels a bit different depending on an array of factors.
In a typical EMDR session with me, you will be sitting in the comfort of your own home in front of your computer or phone. Typically, you will have binaural beats playing in the background (don’t worry I send these to you), dimmed lighting and any other comfort items around you including a blanket, pillows, a journal, essential oils and a cup of your favorite beverage.
All Things Nervous System
Your nervous system is your body’s internal safety and survival system. It’s main function is to scan for safety or threats and respond automatically. So this means that unconsciously our brains are scanning our every enivornment and making an assessment if it is safe or not. Our brain often uses past experiences to make this final determination on safety or threat. Meaning, long before you ever consider your environment (if you ever do, we often do not), your nervous system has already decided whether you feel calm, guarded, overwhelmed or disconnected.
When we have experiences that are overwhelming, rushed or unsupported, ther nervous system stores these experiences as unfinished. So even when life looks fine on the outside after an experience, your body may continue to respond as if the past is still happening. This explains why many of us can logically believe we are safe, capable and successful yet still feel anxious, reactive stuck or numb.
What our brain then does with unfinished experiences is creates adaptations to help keep us safe. These adaptations often look like people pleasing, chronic overthinking, obsessing about the past or future, seeking validation from others and completely disconnecting from the body. The adaptations are what keeps you stuck and they are also the route to how we get to the root of what is keeping you stuck.
What EMDR is Doing Beneath the Surface
EMDR supports the brain and nervous system (your body) process experiences that your brain has classified as unfinished. Rather than rehashing the story, EMDR helps the body complete the experience and create new adaptations that are healthy and productive. In EMDR it’s not about reliving the trauma or experience, its about resolving it.
The most fascinating aspect of EMDR is that your brain continues to reprocess for up to 24 hours after a reprocessing session. So even if at the end of a session you feel one way, you may return to session the following week feeling much lighter and more open about the target that was being reprocessed the week before.
Finally, Onto What EMDR Actually Feels Like
I want you to know that specifically for this blog post, I polled all my current clients I met with in the last two weeks to find out their persecptive on how EMDR feels like. Here are the top 5 responses:
Gentle
Safe
Intense
Focused
Warm
That being said, its safe to say that each EMDR session can elicit different sensations and experiences. No two sessions are the same even though we may be addressing the same target over the course of several sessions. What is always a constant is that your remain present and oriented. We focus on keeping one foot in the present and the other in the past, allowing you to feel safe and in control while exploring challenging memories or sensations. The work is paced very intentionally so your nervous system stays within your window of tolerance.
Sensations Are Part of the Process
In EMDR, body sensations are treated as clues or information that help us get to the root of your symptoms. We will work on learning how to safely experience the sensations that come up in your body, on your terms.
All sensations that show up in EMDR therapy often reflect stored material that becomes accessible only when it is ready to be integrated by your brain. As processing continues, the sensations at arrive often soften or resolve. You will feel supported and guided throughout this entire experience. The whole premise is that you no longer have to carry all these senations alone anymore, you have support.
How EMDR May Feel Over Time
As EMDR Therapy progresses people often experience:
Reduced emotional reactivity
Decreased emotional charge around old triggers
Increased emotional maturity/ flexibility
A greater sense of inner peace
Feeling more present in their daily life
These changes tend to feel organic, not like heavy lifting but relief. Your follow up question likely is how long does it take to experience these results. There is no specific timeline and everyone’s experience in EMDR is unique. It will vary based on frequency and consistency of your sessions. Often people tend to favor EMDR intensives for this specific reason. You can achieve major results in less time spent in therapy overall (this topic in another post).
Moving Forward
If you’ve ever wondered why safety feels challenging to access, even when nothing is wrong, the answer often lies in your nervous system.
As always, if anything you read in this post resonates or interests you, I encourage you to connect with me for a free 15 minute consultation .
By Lisa Slone, LCSW-R, EMDR Therapist
